Shannon Graver

Celebrating That Connection

The Spiritual Journey of Sexual Love That Lasts

“Desire, sex and love create so much confusion for so many of us. We want desire, we want sex and love, we want to feel that Connection, because we want to be fully alive,” says Shannon Graver, an award-winning scriptwriter, creator and educator. “This all starts with Desire.”

Some traditions see any type of desire as negative, opposed to the spiritual path. But for Shannon, Desire is sacred.

“Unlike lust, which is only for sex, Desire opens us to the spiritual journey of sexual love that lasts, to lovemaking that brings us ‘closer and closer to one another and closer and closer to God.’ That Desire is also the yearning of something deep inside us that is longing to be born."

So how do we come to have this Connection in our life?

By entering into the interplay of Theos, Eros and Agape.”

So how do we end the confusion around desire, sex and love?  “Simple,” she says.  “Take out the comma, so you, desire sex and love."


For years, Shannon trained to be a scholar—the University of Michigan, Freiburg in Breisgau, Berlin, University of California Berkeley, practically a PhD. “But book learning alone has never been enough for me. Life is not an academic exercise.”

She’s lived through massive changes—Civil Rights, Anti-War, Sexual Revolution (sex won), the Women’s Movement, marriage, career, a child, divorce. “But I didn’t have the kind of intimate relationship that I yearned for in my life. I finally decided to pay full attention to this.”

After years of reading, searching and encountering people who have this Connection in their lives (unexpectedly many), it all came together—what it is, how it works, where it leads and how to get there. Sharing what she’s learned and continues to discover has become her calling: “Where your greatest joy meets the world’s deep need.”

“An Episcopal priest told me, ‘I think you’ve really got something here.’’ A woman friend married 35 years said, ‘You’re making me want to go home for lunch.’ An Oxford professor commented, after I quickly mapped something from my book, ‘You just did what I took an hour and a half to do.’ A married man said, when I mentioned a woman’s Radiance to him, ‘I’m taking that home and going to use it tonight.’ A widower who had this Connection with his late wife of 47 years, read the draft of my book and told me I got it right. The understandings that ahd come together for me are true."

“What I’ve learned is wonderful: that Connection is real. You don’t want to settle for anything else.”

An invitation

“I invite you to join me in making these discoveries. You’ll find new ways of seeing and new ways of experiencing life. You’ll have words to communicate with others in ways you’ve never had before. Most of all, you’ll begin to realize the sacred possibilities that are there for you. Knowing you're not the only one who’s wanting this makes all the difference.”

"Send me an email on my contact page and I'll stay in touch. My book isn't ready yet but I can send you a list of resources that have been invaluable to me. That'll get you started. Then we can continue this journey of discovery together. The results will be remarkable, of that I am sure."